It Only Takes One

If you don't learn something new each day, you're not living at all.

Though most of us will never stay awake for 24 hours at a time, it's amazing that someone can make an impact in another person's life through simply a smile, a spoken word or a simple gesture.

Just as easily, we humans can turn off our fellow man through being rude and obnoxious, not caring much about how their actions may offend their neighbor.

The first time we see a new face, we are enlightened to new information, given a brief moment to peer into another person's life. This small amount of time allows us to formulate an opinion — good or bad — and work with that until your paths cross again or you have a change of heart.

Unfortunately, as is the case with most first impressions, they are also the last and rarely do these chance meetings end well.

I've kind of figured out why people go through a midlife crisis. After people reach that 25th birthday and are no longer "at-risk" drivers until they reach the ripe age of 65 and the opportunity to reap the fruits of retirement, little attention is paid to you.

It's because we are either trying to learn as many lessons from our older citizens before they are no longer here, or doing our best to teach the next generation how to live a successful life, hopefully free of the stresses and cares of this world seeming to bog even the best of us down.

Why 25?

By that time most of us have finally left our childish ways developed during our teenage years behind; you know, when we felt invincible and had our whole life in front of us. Usually we have somewhat established what role we want to play in this world, a spot reserved only for one person — yourself.

Also, if you went to college (which for most comes before the age of 25), you know a lot of bad habits are picked up the day you arrive on campus.

For the first quarter of our lives, we are molded and shaped into an identity fitting only one person. During this process, we are influenced by many people — parents, siblings, cousins, teachers, friends, and so on.

As is the case with anyone, it doesn't take long to find out who someone has been hanging with, and how their behavior has influenced others in one way or another.

Too often these days, our youths are the ones falling for peer pressure, sometimes being led toward a life of crime and eventually an early grave.

Not too much older than students now going through high school, I still remember when people's first impression of me and my friends were that we were up to nothing but trouble. While nothing could have been further from the truth, the fact that we were young black males in America didn't help the way society perceived me.

It took hard work and the willingness for people to see the good in me for them to change their view of me, and hopefully that of my fellow African-American brothers.

Being able to watch this next generation of Black males grow up kind of worries me, partly because a lot of the things that me and past generations experienced no longer hold importance or relevance to them.

So many of my brothers have no respect for females, and could care less if this particular woman was/is the mother of his child. If that's how they treat her, think of how they'll treat the child.

We no longer have respect for our elders; parents and grandparents simply are aiming to be friends, no longer placing a fear of God in children and a discipline to make it in a world where work must be done to meet dreams.

Part of the blame goes to our lifestyle, which through the avenues of television, music and Internet teaches children to treat women like prostitutes, promote violence and behavior that does nothing but pull them closer to tragedy.

The job of being an example rests in our hands, Black men willing to make a difference in the lives of our young men.

And when a breakthrough is made, boy does it take root.

Take for example last week, after Gaffney defeated Woodruff 20-13 at the American Community Bank Cherokee County Jamboree, I had the opportunity to speak with one of the players.

We spoke for a few minutes, during which I commended him for his play during the game. Before I could utter another word, the young man asked me "You want to know why I was able to do that?"

Still in reporter mode, I quickly whipped back, "Why is that?," thinking I would get back an answer like harder training, more focus or better attention to detail.

He said, "I simply got closer to God ... He's the only reason I'm here and able to do this, and all my blessings and ability come from Him."

It was easy to see this kid has surrounded himself with good people, from the people at home to his coaches while on the football field.

It's always good to see our youths with a good head on their shoulders, doing what is right. At a time when our focus is on all the wrong they do, his example gives me hope others can follow a similar path.

All it takes is one, after all.